Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize