Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Who put my cat in the fridge?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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