I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize