If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
