There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
