I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize