Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
