idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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