we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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