so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize