Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
