Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.

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  (586): a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho. http://tfl.nu/ftbg
  Replies (3) Good night (1450) Bad night (961)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night

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  (815): Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night http://tfl.nu/n9gx
  Replies (4) Good night (1291) Bad night (3875)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

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  (215): The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room. http://tfl.nu/3nsa
  Replies (86) Good night (40722) Bad night (2330)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (3174) Bad night (5237)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.

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  (678): Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid. http://tfl.nu/c97u
  Replies (14) Good night (4149) Bad night (1746)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.

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  (610): I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse. http://tfl.nu/qk0b
  Replies (32) Good night (1750) Bad night (16131)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.

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  (+44): Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go. http://tfl.nu/hus5
  Replies (10) Good night (2369) Bad night (753)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2813) Bad night (1120)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.

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  (903): He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk. http://tfl.nu/oox7
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (429)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on

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  (508): he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on http://tfl.nu/t183
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (467)
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  (212): View more from New York

  LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.

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  (212): LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen. http://tfl.nu/na6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (470)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front

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  (440): New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front http://tfl.nu/k7td
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (360)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship

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  (250): Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship http://tfl.nu/lexa
  Replies (1) Good night (836) Bad night (461)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.

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  (306): Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift. http://tfl.nu/91xb
  Replies (3) Good night (788) Bad night (320)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.

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  (609): He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater. http://tfl.nu/uty6
  Replies (4) Good night (186) Bad night (474)

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