Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.

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  (704): Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes. http://tfl.nu/5rb1
  Replies (50) Good night (6948) Bad night (904)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy

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  (512): He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy http://tfl.nu/obh2
  Replies (6) Good night (1609) Bad night (3472)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

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  (630): If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus. http://tfl.nu/iii0
  Replies (15) Good night (1633) Bad night (5474)
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  (310): View more from California

  He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday

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  (310): He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday http://tfl.nu/b2jq
  Replies (11) Good night (3209) Bad night (1434)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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  (315): I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours http://tfl.nu/z9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2539) Bad night (869)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.

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  (832): I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see. http://tfl.nu/uq0v
  Replies (11) Good night (2407) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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  (361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c
  Replies (17) Good night (3477) Bad night (1989)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.

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  (202): i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not. http://tfl.nu/o6ew
  Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (720)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

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  (780): Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP http://tfl.nu/n1dg
  Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.

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  (516): About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me. http://tfl.nu/5yy8
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.

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  (715): I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt. http://tfl.nu/rg1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1410) Bad night (488)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Only if you died obviously.

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  (857): Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you. (857): Only if you died obviously. http://tfl.nu/keit
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?

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  (785): And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney? http://tfl.nu/o9bx
  Replies (0) Good night (415) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....

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  (717): You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer.... http://tfl.nu/09h3
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (203)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  His crazy is a thing to be cherished

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  (415): His crazy is a thing to be cherished http://tfl.nu/i8hb
  Replies (0) Good night (277) Bad night (169)

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