hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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