Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
