she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
