No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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