You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
