found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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