is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize