I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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