girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
