what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I smell like Dick and happiness
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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