shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
