like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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