the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They are going to name an STD after you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
