I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize