I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize