just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
