We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
