Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
