Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
