You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
