fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
