Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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