I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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