And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
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