I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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