I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
