just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
