the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
