On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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