We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
