Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
