I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i believe in u and ur pee
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
