Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
