addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
