the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
