i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
