New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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