i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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