I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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