My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize