the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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