"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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