Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
