He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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