so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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