Soap is not a condiment
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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